The connection between acts of kindness and mental health is real, chemical, and well-documented. You do something kind. A warm feeling rushes over you and you suddenly feel better. That feeling is not all in your head -- it is in your brain chemistry, too. Kindness is a gift to both the recipient and the giver, and the science behind why is worth understanding.
Acts of kindness have the potential to release hormones that directly contribute to mood and overall wellbeing. The practice is so effective it is now being formally incorporated into some types of psychotherapy. "We all seek a path to happiness," says Dr. Waguih William IsHak, a professor of psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai. "Practicing kindness toward others is one we know works."
Acts of Kindness and Mental Health: The Chemical Basis
Most research on why kindness makes us feel better centers around oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the "love hormone" or the "cuddle hormone," and it plays a central role in forming social bonds and trusting other people. We most often hear about its importance in the context of mothers bonding with their babies -- but doing something kind for another person triggers the same response.
Oxytocin makes us more trusting, more generous, and friendlier, while also lowering blood pressure. When we take an active role in kindness, our moods are rewarded by this hormone directly.
Acts of Kindness Boost Love Hormones
Acts of kindness also appear to give oxytocin levels a boost more broadly, research suggests. Studies also indicate that kind acts release dopamine -- a chemical messenger in the brain that produces feelings of euphoria. This feel-good chemical is responsible for what is commonly called the "helper's high," the feeling of satisfaction and connection we get after helping someone and how we feel about ourselves in the aftermath. It reduces anxiety and depression and increases feelings of wellbeing and connection.
In addition to boosting oxytocin and dopamine, being kind also increases serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood. The three together create a powerful internal reward for prosocial behavior.
Kindness as a Treatment for Pain, Anxiety, and Depression
Researchers know that acts of kindness influence the brain in measurable ways. Because of this, medical professionals -- including psychiatrists -- often treat certain mental health conditions such as pain, anxiety, and depression by incorporating acts of kindness into care plans.
A few things worth knowing:
- Studies are investigating whether oxytocin can be used therapeutically. Because it is a protein, it cannot be taken as a pill -- it is currently being studied in injection and nasal spray forms.
- Mindfulness-based therapy is increasingly used to treat depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. The approach is built on mindfulness meditation, gratitude documentation, and acts of kindness as daily practice. Personally, I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for many years, and the impact has been significant. Just thirty minutes a day has an outsized effect on the other 23.5 hours.
- "The benefits of mindfulness-based meditation practices are now unequivocal," says Arash Asher, director of Cancer Rehabilitation and Survivorship at Cedars-Sinai's Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute. "In a remarkable study, even a short 8-week mindfulness meditation program was found to reduce the size and activity of the amygdala, which is the area of the brain associated with fear and anxiety. There is clear evidence that mindfulness meditation can change the way our brains look and function."
- Helping others is also believed to increase levels of an endorphin-like chemical called substance P, which can relieve pain. Because substance P influences normal pain perception, acts of kindness may reduce the chronic pain associated with conditions like fibromyalgia syndrome.
Acts of Kindness Must Be Repeated to Be Effective
The good news about the relationship between acts of kindness and mental health is that even small gestures produce real biochemical rewards. The catch is that the effect is not lasting. A single act of kindness will not carry you through several days, or even several hours. The oxytocin boost from one kind act lasts roughly three to four minutes. To experience ongoing mental health benefits, kindness has to be a practice -- something built into your regular routine.
Ideas for incorporating it daily or weekly include volunteer work, dropping coins into an expired parking meter, bringing a snack to share with coworkers, or holding the elevator for someone. None of these are grand gestures. That is the point. Small, repeated, consistent acts of kindness have more cumulative effect on mental health than rare big ones.
Helping Ourselves and Our Communities
The rewards of acts of kindness are broad. They help us feel better, they help the people who receive them, and they contribute to stronger communities and more connected lives. However you frame your actions, know that the kind things you do for others also improve your own life. It is, as they say, a win-win -- and it creates a ripple effect that extends well beyond the original gesture.
Kindness Starts with the People Closest to You
One of the most consistent findings in the research on acts of kindness and mental health is that the effects are strongest in close relationships. Showing up for a partner with intention and attention -- rather than by default -- produces real connection and real biochemical reward for both people. Date Deck® was built on exactly that idea: 52 prompts that make it easier to do something intentional and fun with the person you share your life with, without one person carrying all the planning weight.
If decision fatigue is making it hard to find the energy for kindness in your closest relationships, our guide to reducing decision fatigue is a useful place to start.
