Date Deck - what causes people to be attracted to one another?

What Causes People to be Attracted to One Another?

When we fall for someone, it's tough to stop talking about our crush's good looks, sense of humor, and those lovable ways.

The question is: Why is it that we're just naturally attracted to some people and not others? Here are just a few of the reasons.

Of course, love is mysterious. But, in some ways, attraction is not. Science actually has an explanation for why we are attracted to certain people and why we don't give others the time of day. What it is that draws us towards certain people in terms of our biological makeup? It's worth noting that much of the research about attraction tends to focus on heterosexual relationships, but obviously that's not the limit of attraction or love.

Proximity plays a role in who you find attractive.

Have you ever noticed that it's not uncommon to see co-stars from your favorite series or movie dating in real life? Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, for example, dated on and off screen for three years after starring together in "The Notebook." In addition, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck started dating the year after the release of "Daredevil" back in 2003. Why does this seem to be a pattern?

"Mere exposure to someone repeatedly increases the likelihood we will be attracted to them," says J. Celeste Walley-Jean, Dean of the School of Graduate Studies and associate professor of psychology at Clayton State University. This is backed up by 50 years worth of scientific research that has found that proximity is one of the most powerful indicators of attraction. We simply are drawn to the people we see frequently. This explains why celebrity co-stars end up getting together due to how closely they work with one another on a regular basis.

People can be attracted to those who look healthy and fertile.

Whether we realize it or not, we are biologically attracted to healthy-looking people and those who look like they can reproduce. "Heterosexual men are typically attracted to younger women who appear to be of childbearing age and a certain physical appearance," Walley-Jean says. This can explain why you see photos of women in the 1800s wearing bustles to overemphasize their healthy, childbearing hips in order to attract men. In addition, research suggests that people are also attracted to those who look healthy.

Personality traits might play a role.

Research has also shown that people who are kind are seen as more attractive. In a 2007 study, participants were asked to rate photos of strangers for attractiveness. They were then asked to evaluate the same photos, but this time some of the photos had personality descriptions. Essentially, the study found that the photos with positive descriptions received the highest ratings for attractiveness, suggesting that certain personality traits do play a role.

Similar qualities attract.

To understand how similarity might impact who a person chooses to be in a relationship with, Donn Byrne, a renowned American psychologist, developed a method known as the " phantom stranger technique." The procedure begins with participants completing a questionnaire about their attitudes on a variety of topics. Next, they take part in a "person-perception" phase, where they evaluate a person based on their responses to the same questionnaire.

By manipulating the degree of similarity between a person and a "phantom stranger," Byrne was able to conclude that participants reported feeling more attracted to people who held similar attitudes. In fact, the greater the degree of similarity, the greater the attraction and fondness.

Pick up a Date Deck® and see why doing things together is important.

As noted in this blog, proximity plays a big part in attraction. And this proximity is important no matter how old the relationship is. Even in long-term relationships, spending quality time together doing something different on a regular basis is important. It helps to keep the interest and love alive. This increases the connection and depth of feelings for one another. Whether newlyweds or a longtime, married couple, increasing the joy in any relationship is important. So, pick up a Date Deck® and do something fun and different for a change. It will be a bonus to both of you, increase your happiness, and even improve your family life.

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