It’s a dream come true for many high school seniors. You and your best friend were not only accepted to the same university, but you have also officially decided on rooming with your best friend for your freshman year. What could be more ideal than starting this new chapter with your favorite person?
You probably imagine coordinating dorm decorations, endless nights of laughter, and having a built-in support system for every campus event. While this can be a wonderful experience, it is important to understand that sharing a small living space is very different from hanging out on the weekends. According to a residential life study from The Journal of College Student Development, roommate compatibility is one of the highest predictors of overall student satisfaction during the first year of college.
Let’s look at the pros and cons of rooming with your best friend to help you decide if it's the right move for your friendship.
The Pros of Choosing a Best Friend as a Roommate
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No "Get to Know You" Awkwardness: You already know each other’s history, humor, and habits. This allows you to skip the uncomfortable small talk and the trial-and-error period that usually comes with a random roommate assignment.
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A Built-in Support System: Having a familiar face greet you each morning can make a difficult transition feel a little more like home. This stability can give you the confidence you need to take risks in your classes and social life, knowing your "home base" is secure.
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Doubling Your Wardrobe: If you and your best friend are a similar size, you can effectively double your clothing options. This can help you reduce the amount of luggage you bring to campus, opening up much-needed living space in a cramped dorm.
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Built-in Social Connection: Whether you need a heart-to-heart talk after a tough exam or just someone to grab dinner with at the dining hall, you will always have someone by your side who truly understands you.
The Cons of Rooming with Your Best Friend
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The "Social Bubble" Risk: By rooming with your best friend, you might unintentionally limit your chances of making new friends. It is easy to stay in your comfort zone rather than pushing yourself to meet unfamiliar people who could offer different perspectives and experiences.
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Friendship vs. Roommate Compatibility: Just because you are great friends doesn't mean you are a great fit for a 12x12 room. Differences in sleep patterns, study habits, and cleanliness levels can put a massive strain on a long-term relationship.
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Difficulty with Boundaries: Sharing can be a double-edged sword. It is easy to cross boundaries when you haven't set firm ground rules. Damaged clothing or unreturned items can cause deep-seated conflict even among the closest of friends.
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Confrontation Challenges: Because you value the friendship so highly, it can be strenuous to discuss roommate problems. You may find yourself staying quiet about a messy desk or loud music because you are worried about how a confrontation might affect your long-term bond.
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Lack of Independent Time: Even the best of friends need time alone. Without clear ground rules, it can be challenging to disconnect and find the personal space you need to recharge.
Weigh the Options Carefully
Before you commit to rooming with your best friend, have an honest conversation about how you both see your college experience playing out. If you are someone who needs a taste of home to feel comfortable, this might be a great idea. However, if you are looking for a total "fresh start" and a sense of adventure, you might consider rooming with someone new while keeping your best friend as your primary social outlet outside of the room.
Dorm Deck and Hack Decks®
Regardless of who you choose to live with, the transition to campus life requires a plan. Pick up a Dorm Deck to make that transition much easier. This 52-card deck helps you establish healthy habits and navigate the social complexities of living in a new environment.
The Dorm Deck is filled with crowdsourced wisdom from students who have been in your shoes. It includes helpful prompts like "Establish a chore list," "Load up on healthy snacks," and "Play tourist with a friend." Whether you are rooming with your best friend or a complete stranger, these Hack Decks® ensure you start your first semester on the right page, establishing the boundaries and habits necessary to soar.
