You might be asking yourself, “Should I ask for dates spontaneously or plan the dates out ahead of time?” You might feel torn between the two.
What does spontaneous mean in dating?
A spontaneous ask for a date is any form of asking for a last-minute date. It’s normally the day of or even in the right now. This form of spontaneity is NOT suggested to do for the first date.
It actually does not work as often as you may think. It only works if you’ve already been dating and there’s been a strong connection built between the two people. When you already know you two like each other, being spontaneous is great because it keeps both of you on your toes, on new adventures, and builds momentum. But if you’re newly dating, for example, it’s only been the first 3-4 dates or so, or especially if you haven’t met yet, spontaneity isn’t great.
How should a date be planned?
Planning a date
Plan a date ahead of time but don’t wait too long. The other side of planning a date that isn’t good is planning a date two weeks out. That’s too far off. And when you have something that’s far away, you have to hope that the texting momentum is on fire.
Exceptions
Of course, there are exceptions. If you need to plan 2-3 weeks ahead because of your travel plans, that’s okay! Just make sure that’s known to your date and he or she will appreciate you making time even with your busy schedule. And as you wait for the date, make sure you’re on your texting game. Because waiting for the date with all that time can make it very easy to forget. It’s easy to lose momentum, and then you lose the date.
How long ahead of time is the best time to plan a date?
So, what is the perfect window to plan a date? It’s best within the week or 3-4 days prior to the date. If you text on a Wednesday asking what your date is doing on the weekend, and they say they're free Saturday, that’s perfect! You only have two more days to plan things out, keep texting, and then it’ll already be time to see each other.
It’s best when planning out the date, you include the other person in on it as well. You can throw out options to show you’re taking the lead, but having your date participate. It adds to the excitement. Both of you will look forward to it more because it’s something you both really want to do.
Include the other person in the planning.
Asking someone out beforehand shows you’re not afraid to take the lead. Then, it’s best to include them in it by first giving ideas and asking for their thoughts. You can ask something as simple as “Any sort of Cuisine you do or don’t like?” or “Have you heard of this area? Would you be open to exploring it?”
You’re still taking the initiative to plan but allowing your date to share what they like and enjoy so it becomes more of a collaborative process.
Being spontaneous is actually great.
Spontaneity is actually great because it becomes an adventure. But, once again, only ask for the date spontaneously if you already really, really, really, really know the chemistry is extremely high. You know when you both have expressed how much you really like each other. So, you’re very confident the other person is going to say yes.
And that’s it! We hope that this all makes sense when you’re planning your date and deciding between spontaneous or planned dates. Adding a mix of both dates as you continue to date is what makes it interesting, and fun, and keeps the momentum going You got this!
Date Deck® and Hack Decks™
Date Deck® is packed full of ideas that can be incorporated into a spontaneous date. If you're both up for it, you can pick a card and then do something spontaneous together. This will work best after the fourth or fifth date, when thinking of things to do together may become slightly harder than on the second or third date. The purpose of Date Decks® is to make sure that dating is exciting, adventurous, trouble-free, and keeps you both in the frame of mind of finding different things to do together. The deck is unique and can become a way of negotiating fun things to do without either person having to make the plans. Pick up a date today and enjoy the spontaneity it brings to your dating world.