What is Kindness?
Kindness is more than behavior. The art of kindness involves having a spirit of helpfulness, being generous and considerate. And doing so without expecting anything in return. This, as we have noted in several of our other blogs, is called detached engagement.
One of the earliest concepts that I learned in yoga, yet one which is not easy to put into practice is what is termed detached engagement. Being human means having feelings and emotions. When you are aware of those emotions, and allow them to flow without judgment, or attempting to control an outcome you are practicing detached engagement. When you give your gifts in life without any expectation of receiving something back in return, you are practicing detached engagement. When you let a situation just occur and play out without trying to influence the outcome or a future event, you are practicing detached engagement.
Rather than viewing kindness and detached engagement exclusively as an action, think of kindness as a quality of being you can cultivate. Giving kindness often is simple, free and health-enhancing. Practice random acts of kindness and see what positive benefits you experience.
As the Dalai Lama says: "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
Good for the body.
Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion. It also directly impacts mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.
Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships. It also can be contagious, encouraging others to join in with their own generous deeds. Looking for ways to show kindness can give you something to focus on, especially if you are anxious or stressed in certain social situations. We have repeatedly discussed this in our blogs, and it is true that kindness and compassion can reduce these negative feelings. This has been demonstrated in multiple studies that we have cited in our blogs.
Random Acts of Kindness are good for the mind.
Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure and reward centers in the brain to light up. Endorphins, your body's natural painkiller, also may be released when you show kindness.
Remember to be kind to yourself.
When sharing kindness, it's not just how you treat other people, it's also about how you extend those same behaviors and intentions to yourself. When you practice gratitude, you become kinder to yourself, as well.
People are good at verbally beating themselves up. This does the opposite of giving yourself a pep talk. Rather, negativity often causes you to unravel and may even create a vicious cycle of regularly getting down on yourself. You wouldn't talk to your neighbor the way you sometimes speak to yourself. This is what I call the good neighbor policy, which can be helpful. If you wouldn't say it to your good neighbor, don't say it about or to yourself. This can make sure you are showing yourself the kindness that you offer to others.
Take action and put kindness into practice daily.
Start your day with this question: "How am I going to practice kindness today? If necessary, document your evidence of kindness to others and especially to yourself during the day. This positive focus is like planting positive seeds in your mind garden. Where focus goes, energy flows. This statement is so true, and stressed in multiple areas in life, business, and in connections with others.
Random Acts of Kindness Decks and Hack Decks
How about you? Are you willing to show Random Acts of Kindness to others?
If you are interested in getting involved in the Random Acts of Kindness movement, pick up a pack of Random Acts of Kindness prompt cards. Each deck includes 52 cards that offer unique and simple ways that you can offer kindness and compassion to others. The tasks or suggestions are simple and keep you looking at the big picture of kindness. Even the smallest gestures of kindness can make other people's lives that much better. And, in turn, it will make yours better, as well. Open up a pack and choose one each day, or several times each week, as a way to remember to practice kindness. Shift your world view from negative to positive and spread kindness to others and yourself, as well.